Stalking Moonless Paths
by MoonshineWendigo
Summary: A one shot short story exploring Hollyleaf's reaction to the secrets revealed in Sunrise. Contains some mature content and non-canon events. Also, my first fan-fiction, so critique is appreciated.


**Disclaimers: The Warriors series and all characters are copyright Erin Hunter. Spoilers for Sunrise. Rated M for adult content and possible ideological sensitivities. Characters are portrayed in some non-canon situations. Constructive critique encouraged, but please try to base your critique on actual writing quality versus content. I do not necessarily support the pairing or situations contained herein, so do not read much into it. This is just for fun, and a shallow attempt to explain Hollyleaf's reaction to some of the events in the Power of Three. Thank you in advance for reading.**

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_Thump, thump. Thump, thump._

The dull thuds of Hollyleaf's paws hitting the leafy ground pounded out a rhythm that kept time with the furious beating of her heart. She felt almost as if she were flying, heedless of the thorny branches that whipped her face as she passed. Her brothers' cries faded into the distance as she ran. Fury and despair in equal measures gave her strength and speed, and it was unlikely that Lionblaze and Jayfeather would catch up to her in time.

Hollyleaf smiled, but there was no warmth or joy in her green eyes. Jayfeather's words still rang poisonously in her head. "I know who our father is." It was as if Hollyleaf had been living with an invisible snare around her neck, unaware of it until her blind brother spoke those words. But then the snare had tightened, slicing into her arteries, crushing her windpipe. No matter how she struggled or screamed, she could not loosen the loop from her neck. There was only one path left to travel now, and there was no turning back.

Hollyleaf's mind drifted as she ran, back to the day when she set her paws down on the wrong trail…

_Hollyleaf had waited nervously for her brother to return from battle. Wind Clan's ambushes on her clan's patrols had taken a heavy toll on both sides, and she had felt a momentary stab of terror when Lionblaze staggered back into camp, covered in blood. He had not been injured, though, and Hollyleaf's relief had been washed over by surprise and anger when she found out that Lionblaze had nearly killed the Wind Clan warrior Crowfeather. The strange feelings confused her, and she buried them by talking of the Warrior Code, a tactic that she had learned quickly drew attention away from her._

_Yet she continued to ponder Lionblaze's violent assault and her feelings about it until, at last, beneath the pale light of the waning moon, she found herself standing on the northern border of Wind Clan's territory. The silvery waters of the stream that marked the territorial boundary lapped gently at her feet. A quiet breeze rustled through the grass on the rolling hills beyond. Hollyleaf curled her tail around her side and waited patiently._

_Crowfeather stalked the night patrol on the rise northern border alone, as he did every night. His mind was so lost in his own disjointed thoughts that he would have passed by Hollyleaf without so much as a glance if she hadn't softly cleared her throat. Crowfeather leaped forward, his dark grey fur rising in a ridge along his back and his blue eyes flashing in anger. "Thunder Clan cat!" he snarled. "Set one paw on Wind Clan territory, and I'll put your backbone out through your underbelly!"_

_Hollyleaf flinched, but neither stepped forward nor retreated. "I came here to apologize for the actions of my brother. His actions were against the Warrior Code, and he could have killed you. I… I'm sorry."  
_

_Crowfeather's ears flattened against his skull, and he hissed. "I don't need your remorse or your pity! Be gone!"_

_Hollyleaf drew back with her eyes and tail lowered, then turned to vanish into the forest undergrowth. As she slunk back silently into Thunder Clan camp, she mulled over what excuse she would use to defend her actions if Crowfeather reported her to the rest of his clan. If he did, it would be only a matter of time before Firestar heard about it. Unable to think of anything legitimate to offer in her own defense, Hollyleaf curled up in the Warriors den next to Lionblaze. She was already skirting the tenets of the Warrior Code, and she was prepared to accept the consequences._

_But over the days that followed, no one questioned her. Even Jayfeather, who saw more through his blindness than most cats saw through their vision, said nothing. Hollyleaf breathed a sigh of relief, but something still gnawed at her pelt like a flea that refused to be dislodged._

_The next night, Hollyleaf stood on Wind Clan's border once again, with the stream bubbling a leap away. Again, Crowfeather roved the territorial boundary alone. Again, he berated her. And again, she left with her tail tucked between her legs._

_The scene replayed itself over and over, every single night, until at last the new moon arrived. The feeble light from the stars did nothing to brighten the endless, black hills of grass. The absent moon seemed to have stolen all life and light for itself. Hollyleaf felt as if she was staring into the open maw of a great void, but still she waited._

_A soft voice made Hollyleaf jump. "Tell me. Why do you keep returning, even when I call you less than a maggot and threaten to chew off your ears?" Crowfeather had slipped so stealthily through the grass that Hollyleaf had not heard him arrive. Even though she could not see his expression or his stance in the consuming darkness, Hollyleaf felt something different in Crowfeather's mood. His voice was gentle, free of the bile and vitriol that usually dripped from it._

_Hollyleaf didn't answer for a moment, and then said, "I don't know. Just… something inside me tells me that this is what I should be doing, even if it is wrong." When Crowfeather didn't respond, she whispered into the night, "Crowfeather, are you still there? I can't see you in the darkness."_

_Hollyleaf heard a splash. Before she had a chance to react, Crowfeather stood before her on the Thunder Clan side of the stream, water streaming down his glossy coat and a strange desire in the glint of his eyes. A petulant voice in her head demanded that she turn and run, that she tell her clan what had been happening night after night, but she silenced it with her own thoughts as quickly as she silenced voles with her teeth. Whatever happened, there was no turning back. She had to understand these feelings. _

"_There is something about you," Crowfeather whispered, pressing his muzzle into her ear. Hollyleaf could feel his warm breath. He smelled like herbs and honey, and she felt her blood rush to her head as she inhaled his scent. "There is something in your words and your movements that remind me of someone I once loved, long ago." _

"_Crowfeather?" Hollyleaf quivered as Crowfeather sniffed beneath her chin and down her side and flank to her tail tip. She felt fear and curiosity, both tempered with a deep wanting for something that she had not known she needed until she felt its absence._

"_I was angry at first," the tom continued, pressing his pelt against hers, "at these things that I shouldn't be feeling again. I didn't want to do this again. I don't want to follow this path." Passion heated his words. "And yet I can't resist it. That's why I've returned every night. I've had to wait until the perfect moonless night. Oh, Star Clan, the wait!"_

_Crowfeather's movements were swift and fluid. Hollyleaf didn't move even as he slunk behind her and rubbed her back with the inside of a forepaw. The dark grey tom brushed his muzzle against the backs of her ears. "I love you," he murmured. Hollyleaf's breath caught in her throat as he grabbed the scruff of her neck in his jaws, and she let out a whimper, a noise that sounded strange even in her own ears. Crowfeather mounted her, and she arched her back to meet him. He swept her tail to the side with his own and entered her. The intensity of the pain that ripped through Hollyleaf's body was equal only to the intensity of the pleasure. She felt light-headed, and the night sky seemed to turn above her head. Crowfeather continued to thrust fiercely with his hips, until the mix of pleasure and pain reached such a crescendo that Hollyleaf was certain that the stars would be hurled from the spinning sky._

_Crowfeather at last backed away, panting. Hollyleaf had not anticipated the sharp sting as he pulled out, and it took all of her strained effort not to cry out. Every pent up thought, desire, and emotion has escaped from her body in the moments that she had been joined with Crowfeather, and now she was shaking. She snarled unconvincingly at the tom as he approached her again, knowing that there was no malice in it. "No one must know about this," she pleaded. "We can't do this again. It goes against everything that the Warrior Code stands for."_

_Crowfeather nodded and threw his head back to stare at the heavens above. "I swear beneath the disproving gaze of Star Clan that I will never tell another soul, cat or otherwise, about what we've done." He lowered his gaze to meet Hollyleaf's. "But let's not bury our prey before it is dead."_

_Even Hollyleaf's strongest convictions did not stand a chance against the nature of her desire. She allowed Crowfeather to mount her again. She welcomed the pleasure for what it was, pure pleasure, a and she welcomed the pain as a reminder of her betrayal. Crowfeather took her many more times that night, ach time the climax bringing with it a sweet release and a desire for more, until the fear of being discovered with the breaking dawn broke up their tryst._

_The ritual continued. Night after night, Hollyleaf stood by the stream. Night after night, crowfeather appeared to tear her apart with his words. On the darkest nights, though, the nights where the moon was absent or hidden behind a tangled mass of clouds, Crowfeather would cross the stream to her side. Under the cover of darkness, the two would couple and then swear one another to secrecy anew._

But time and circumstance flow like rivers, and once the truth is out, it can never be forgotten. Hollyleaf had travelled down paths so dark that her way was now lost. So she ran.

Jayfeather's words had brought down all of the walls that she had built, had burnt to ash all of the lies that she had been so careful to wrap around herself. "I know who our father is. It's Crowfeather." But the most horrific blow had been when she confronted Crowfeather. His violent denials and the expression of genuine disgust on his face… She shook the image from her mind.

There were some secrets that should never be uncovered, and Hollyleaf would at least keep her end of that promise to Crowfeather. _No one must find out._ The only thing left was to ensure that no one would ever dig up the final truth. As she raced toward the tunnels, anticipating the release of death, she felt a quiet kick of life stirring from within her. Hollyleaf laughed bitterly, the sound cruel even to her own ears. Who knew better than she did the price for betrayal? Even the innocents suffered.


End file.
